Cinco de Mayo?

I'm not exactly sure when or even how the May 5th holiday "Cinco de Mayo" became Cinco de Mustache-- and frankly don't I really care. Having been born and raised in Canada, I am about as far removed from the Cinco de Mayo culture as humanly possible. What do you even do on Cinco de Mayo? I don't know-- but I can tell you want you do on Cinco de Mustache: You grow a mustache!
Here's how it work. Don't shave during the month of April, then on May 5th trim back the facial forest revealing your Cinco de Mustache. Now for those of you who may be facial hair impaired, like myself, you may want to consider getting started on your stache a few weeks sooner. Then you and all the members of your mustache posse go out to lunch/dinner at a crappy little mexican resturant. Avoid crowded places with children like parks, middle schools, and McDonald's playlands.

Happy Cinco de Mustache! See ya next year!