Sunday, March 30, 2008

Ventriloquism vs. Puppetry

After re-reading my first post I've come to realize that I've unintentionally aligned myself with the terribly creepy world of ventriloquism. I am an actor who happened to like puppetry as a child. I have no intention of combining these two worlds. To clarify I do not, nor have I, nor will I ever of my own free will perform as a ventriloquist. I suppose the true intent of this post is to clarify the difference between ventriloquism and puppetry and my feelings towards them. I guess the only real difference is that the puppeteer is hidden during performance and a ventriloquist is a part of the show. I may go so far as to say that ventriloquism is the prima donna's puppetry. And while I have respect for both, if I'm perfectly honest I think there is something truly unnatural about ventriloquism. The best way I can think to decribe it is to compare it to the 40 year old woman, who still lives home, in her same childhood bedroom with stuffed animals and doll layed out across a pink laced bedspread. As I'm writing this; however I'm thinking that this could be a good movie. A love story between the ventriloquist and this 40 woman: they meet, fall in love-- like a creepier version of Benny and Joon. Or I guess it could be suspense horror as the audience anxiously watches to see which one will chop the other one up into little bits and slowly feed them to the neighborhood cats.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

In the Beginning

I few months back I was asked to write a brief "getting to know you" biography for the monthly newsletter at work. It seemed highly unnecessary, regardless this is what I wrote:

"Ryan Templeman: A Brief History
February 21st, the year of our Lord 1980 at 2:00am: It was chilly Tuesday night in Toronto when Ryan Delmar Templeman was born; tipping the scales at 8 pounds 4 ounces. As with most infants, Ryan quickly mastered the life essentials of sleeping, eating, and just laying around. As he progress into childhood, his intellectual development was principally administered by the public education system, accompanied by a health dose of cable television; primarily The Muppet Show. It was during this time in his life that Ryan decided he wanted to be an actor; his ultimate goal was to eventually be the celebrity host for The Muppet Show, following in the footsteps of other comic actors like Peter Sellars, Steve Martin, and Vincent Price (actually he wasn't very funny at all). Sadly this goal would never be realized as unbeknownst to the seven year Ryan, The Muppet Show had been cancelled 6 years prior. Blissful in his ignorance, he pursued his now unattainable goal. Due to the amazing (though seemingly undocumented) time warp between Canada and the United States , The Muppet Show continued to run until 1991. Ryan was twelve years old by the time the news of The Muppet Show’s cancellation was fully unfolded before him. It was a dark and lonely time. For the next several years Ryan began leading a meaningless life. Moving from place to place, with no direction, and no ambition (not entirely The Muppet Show’s fault, but was definitely the primary instigator). During his high school years he had 8 different places of residence (one being a white 1990 Plymouth Voyager), and attending 3 different high schools. He eventually ended up in Utah in 2001, where he met and married his wife Andrea and had a child, Jefferson Delmar in 2005. In his spare time, Ryan continues to act, recently appearing in High School Musical, Dadnapped, Deep Winter, and 'amazingly' popular local Truth campaign commercials. He is driven by the improbable hope that one day The Muppet Show will be resurrected for one final episode hosted by Ryan Delmar Templeman."

So there it is-- I'm a daydreaming prepubescent 15 year old trapped in a 28 year-old's body. I'm married, have a kid, live in a house, and when I'm not busy with a job I pursue my career in acting and also do a little screenwriting on the side. Currently I'm growing out my patchy facial hair in a despirate attempt to look more like Jim Henson. Although I have been telling people at work I'm not going to shave or cut my hair until a Canadian team wins the Stanley Cup. It's been 14 years, we're about due.