Another Late Night

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy: Alright, we'll okay that's weird.

[he snickers for just a little too long]

Jimmy: K. My next guest has a small bit part in the recently released S. Darko-- which was recently released, April 28th. Please welcome to the show Ryan Templeman.

[the band plays really loud to mask the fact that no one in the audience is clapping]

[Ryan and Jimmy shake hands. Jimmy leans in awkwardly thinking I may be a "hand shake hug". It is not. Ryan takes a seat on the couch.]

Jimmy: Welcome to the show.

Ryan: Thanks. This is a really nice couch.

Jimmy: That couch is from R.C. Willey-- as is all of our wonderful furniture here. R.C. Willey has the best couches, chairs, desks, pretty much anything and everything money can buy-- and I think Page Davis is hot! Am I right?

Ryan: About Page Davis or the furniture?

Jimmy: [he snickers] Wow. So I have here that you're from Canada, but I noticed that you said couch and not chesterfield. What's the deal?

Ryan: Oh yeah well if it is any consolation I wore my tuque to the studio.

Jimmy: I was going to say your hair looks kind of matted.

Ryan: Thanks. Maybe you could spare one of those half dozen hairstylist I saw back stage.

Jimmy: We'll see what we can do during a commercial break. Okay so let talk about the movie. S. Darko is a sequel to the quite successful independent film from a few years back, Donnie Darko--right? With Jake Gyllenhall before he went all "Brokeback". [He laughs almost uncontrollably] Okay, okay, okay-- So tell em about your character?

Ryan: Um well I play a character named Mike and he's a small town kid with no direction or aspirations. You know he's that pot head degenerate that spent 7 years on the same spot of the couch.

Jimmy: So we spend 2 hours watching you sit on a couch.

Ryan: Gosh I wish I had that kind of face time. No, but there is a scene where I am on a couch-- or rather chesterfield.

Jimmy: So do you have a clip for us?

Ryan: If I do, I've never seen it.

Jimmy: So I shouldn't have you set this up for us.

Ryan: Yeah-- you can just run it.

Jimmy: Okay, let's run it.



Jimmy: Are you sure you're in this movie? I didn't see you.

Ryan: I didn't see me either. Maybe I'm not in it. I guess it is wholly possible I was completely cut out.

Jimmy: What are you doing on my show? You're a nobody.

Ryan: I know but it's not like I crashed your set here or anything, I got an invite and my name is on that door back there; granted it is written on piece of paper and stuck there with some Ticky Tac-- but it's there. You know this whole time I've been sitting here I'm thinking "Wow these guys are really desperate for interviews".

Jimmy: We are not desperate for interviews. We've got stars-- real stars lining up to get on this show. Ray Liotta was on here the other night.

Ryan: Oh I really liked him in Narc.

Jimmy: This is ridiculous. Nobody go and see this movie!

Ryan: That's not cool man. The soundtrack is supposed to be killer.

Jimmy: If you even see this movie in a Blockbuster or whatever turn it around or hide it behind a copy of Love Guru.

Ryan: Do you have something against Canadians?

Jimmy: Are you going to leave or do I have to call security.

Ryan: No I'll leave of my own volition but for the record I would have rather been on Conan, Leno, probably even Letterman cause well... your show of sucks.

Jimmy: Screw you. Security!

[Security rushes out and grabs Ryan by the arms and escorts him off stage]

Ryan: [screaming from behind the curtain] Avenge me Tina Fey! Avenge me!



_____________________________________________________________________________


Wasn't that fun?!
For the record none of that ever happened.
However I am in S. Darko (despite the trailer) which was released late last month.
I don't know if it's any good 'cause I haven't seen it-- so I'd feel weird about endorsing it, but if you want to see me in a movie, you could try that one. Good Luck!